Valentine’s Day is approaching fast! And while we, at Julia Otilia, strongly believe that you should appreciate and show gratitude to your loved ones every single day, Valentine’s Day can always be seen as a great reminder to do so.
However, have you ever considered that everyone is experiencing and giving love a little differently? While there is definitely no right or wrong way to love someone, it does certainly affect how loved and appreciated someone feels. The way that we give and receive love is called a “love language”, based on a concept that is made popular by Dr. Gary Chapman. Everyone has a primary love language through which they express their love and affection to someone. But what if you don’t share the same primary love language? That’s when someone could feel not as loved as you wish them to feel. Although it is definitely not a requirement to share the same love language, it is always good to be aware of the ways the we personally like to give and perceive love compared to someone else’s preference. And maybe this Valentine’s Day, you can make the people around you feel just a little more special. According to this concept, there are five different love languages:
1. Words of Affirmation
Everyone loves to hear genuine and positive words about themselves. But if you are with someone whose primary love language is words of affirmation, they are likely to express their love for you verbally. In return, you should not be hesitant to shower them with compliments and encouraging words. What counts most is that the words come straight from the heart. There is a reason why you are liking someone – try to pinpoint what it is and let your loved ones know that you are grateful for them and give them an inside behind the reasons.
2. Acts of Service
For people whose primary love language is acts of service, actions speak louder than words. Those actions don’t have to be significant. Delivering an act of service to a loved one can be as simple as running an errand, cooking a meal or helping in the house. You will receive the highest appreciation by noticing all the small little tasks and help to minimise their workload. To make your loved ones feel a bit more special, pay attention to what they are doing and where you can potentially assist them, no matter how small or insignificant the task seems. At the same time, let them know where you could need some help yourself. That way, you can involve them more into your life and make their presence and love feel more appreciated.
3. Receiving Gifts
Some people express their love most through giving and receiving gifts. This is not to be mistaken with materialism – it’s not about the value or size of the present. What counts most is the thoughtfulness behind the gift. Beautiful flowers, meaningful jewellery or even better, something self-made. The possibilities are endless and don’t have to be expensive. To make someone happy who primarily speaks the love language receiving gifts, pay attention to the little things that make them happy and show your gratitude when they are gifting things to you.
4. Quality Time
When was the last time you’ve put your phone away and given your full attention to someone? People with the primary love language quality time are most grateful for your full presence, be it during a fun activity, through a meaningful conversation or even some by spending some time together in blissful silence. What counts, is that you are really there, with no other distractions around you. To make your loved one feel more special, give them some quality time by planning a date and making sure to fully give your time and presence to really enjoy each other’s company and make some wonderful memories.
5. Physical Touch
People who primarily speak the love language physical touch are naturally very affectionate and touchy. They value simple acts of physical contact, be it a hug, a kiss, holding hands or little thoughtful touches. Very often, they will mindlessly incorporate little touches when they are next to you, such as playing with your hair or stroking your arm. To make your loved one feel more special, hug them a little longer or touch their arm or face when you two are talking.
First, you should find out which love language you are speaking and then communicate with your loved one about it. That way you are both able to make each other feel more loved and improve your relationship. If you are unsure, you can do an online test here to find out. This does not have to be restricted to a romantic relationship – by understanding how others and yourself feel more loved and appreciated, you are able to make any relationship a little more harmonious and special.
We hope you will spend a wonderful Valentine’s Day with a loved one!
Much love from the Julia Otilia Team
Written by Jenny Thai